April, 2011 - Thrive in Life


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Detach, Survive, Thrive In My Marriage To An Alcoholic
By Linda J Riley

The world of the non-alcoholic in the midst of alcoholic insanity is difficult. Many succumb to the insanity and become part of the disease itself, and others die from stress-related illnesses. But it is possible to survive. Once the non-alcoholic has learned the survival techniques, the next step would be thriving in spite of it all. It can be done. I am proof that it is possible.

One day I watched in horror as my husband, Riley, stood in the middle of the living room and spewed a stream of urine onto the carpet. Things had gotten bad, but I never imagined they would get that bad. Read more

COMMENTS (45) | alcoholic, empowerment, relationships, self realization, thriving

Love Led Me To You: An Abused Horse And Woman Save Each Other
By Narrated by Alan Thicke

This is a moving and powerful video about how a woman and a horse saved each other. Phyllis becomes whole, overcoming her drinking while healing Shag-Ra, the abused horse. Shag-Ra answers the phone, takes stray cats for a ride, and Lip-Synchs to music. This first appeared on Animal Miracles narrated by Alan Thicke.

Click here to view.

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COMMENT (0) | animal companion, animal wisdom, self improvement, thriving

How A Near Death Experience Changed Everything
By Eva R Marienchild

For many of his 50-something years, a severely depressed Bill Smyth* was living his life as if it didn’t matter. “Looking back,” he says, “I don’t know how I kept going.”

In 2000, he and his then-wife lost a son who was less than a year old. As happens with many marriages where the loss of a baby is involved, the marital union came undone. “My ex said she was miserable having me around. She couldn’t look at me without seeing a baby,” said Bill. “In order for her to be happy, we parted. We’re still good friends.”

Talking about his son’s death still hurts, says Bill. “Joseph’s little lungs hadn’t developed. A decision was made to take him off life support.” He pauses, his voice far away. “The only time he smiled was right before he died. Then, he just seemed to relax and let go.”

That observation was a striking forerunner of what was to follow. Read more

COMMENTS (2) | enlightenment, NDE, self improvement, spiritual, thriving

My Unemployed Life: I Felt Emasculated
By Shane McConnaghy

My name is Shane and I’m unemployed.

I’m one of the millions of people trying to find a job in a stagnant economy. As a former mortgage broker, I witnessed first-hand the collapse of the real estate bubble, and experienced the anguish of losing my job due to cutbacks.

At age 45, trying to find another job in the housing market was a study in futility and frustration. No one was hiring. Companies were letting people go, and not in the mood to take a chance on new hires.

Adding to my anxiety was the fact that my wife, Raven, and I had had our first child a year prior to me losing my job, and we now had another little boy on the way. Read more

COMMENTS (2) | enlightenment, thriving, unemployed, work

A Lump Of Flesh
By Dr. Manjiri Prabhu

In India, (and perhaps all over the world) street dogs are at constant risk from humans in one form or another, whether it is starving to death, or being considered a menace or a parasitic nuisance in society. Either way, they are condemned to a life of misery and pain.

I would like to recount an experience, which completely changed me. Read more

COMMENTS (11) | abuse, animal companion, enlightenment

Defining A New Normal Within Marriage
By Billie Criswell

I was 18 years old when I met the man that I would marry, Daren. It was a casual evening with friends that found us chatting on a couch, pretty impressed with one another from head-to-toe. Even at my young age, I knew that this kind of love was different than I had felt before. It felt like magic from the very beginning. I remember having an “ah-ha” moment when I saw him: we locked eyes and I thought to myself, “This guy seems important to me in my life.” From that very moment, there was never another for either of us.

We moved in together after only 3 months of dating, and our ‘honeymoon’ period of the relationship abruptly came to a halt. Read more

COMMENT (0) | marriage, relationships, self improvement

Black Humour And Other Happenings At A Jewish Funeral — Part Three
By Diane Schachter

My dad’s funeral was on a Monday in 1996, in Winnipeg. It was a graveside service on an overcast fall day. I didn’t shed many tears at the funeral. I think that I had already said my goodbyes long before his burial. Still, as I saw my dad’s casket being lowered into the ground, tears trickled down my cheeks. In Judaism, the casket is minimalist and is made of cedar. No rich or poor in burial; we are all equals at death. Read more

COMMENTS (2) | family, humour, relationships

Expert Series: Loneliness: Our Greatest Fear And A Portal To Peace
By Joel Brass

“When we are alone and quiet we are afraid that something will be whispered in our ear, and we so hate the silence and drug ourselves with social life.”

Friederich Nietzsche

As a psychotherapist for the past quarter of a century, I am included on a daily basis in peoples’ greatest fears. Which ones do you think are the most common? Which send shivers down our spines? If you think the answer is the fear of dying and death, I actually rarely hear that one. The fear of rejection? Now you’re getting warmer. The secret, private fear of feeling unworthy, inadequate or not good enough? This is one of the most common for sure. Read more

COMMENT (0) | enlightenment, self improvement

Maggie Meets The Car
By William MacBride

If you’ve never had a dog get hit by a car, you may not fully understand what it’s like. This can be as devastating an experience as if it were to happen to a child. This is a story about the time I learned for real how this feels, by experiencing it. My girlfriend’s dog, Maggie, learned how it felt even more directly. Read more

COMMENTS (3) | animal companion, relationships

Reading: A Love Story
By Joseph Longo

I did not come from a family of readers.

My parents were Sicilian immigrants. My mother read an occasional magazine, but she never read a complete book. My father was semiliterate. Though he bought the New York Daily News every day – mainly to see what horses won at the track.

My first reading memory was comic books. I collected them and had a towering stack in my closet. My hero was Superman. I read that many gay boys growing up in the fifties considered him their favorite because he lived two lives. I also liked True Crime and Classic Comics. As a teenager, I worked for an Italian grocer and spent all my money on comics. I waited each month for my favorites to come out. I still read comics, but now they’re called graphic novels.

My Aunt Josie was the only one in my family who was a reader. She is ninety and she still reads, mostly romance novels. In fact, she keeps a notebook of the books she’s read so that she doesn’t buy the same book again. Read more

COMMENTS (2) | empowerment, enlightenment, self realization

Yes You Can!
By Michael W. Michelsen Jr.

If Dick Hoyt is trying to guilt me into being a better father, I have to admit that he’s accomplished his mission very well. That’s not to say that I’m not a good father, I am, but if it came down to comparing the two of us, he leaves me in the dust. Literally. Read more

COMMENT (0) | empowerment, health, parenting, sports, thriving

Expert Series: ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder) Is Not Who I Am, It Is What I Have
By Brad Worthley

I had a lot of friends growing up so I enjoyed school from the social standpoint. I went to all the sporting events and if there was a party within 20 miles, I was there. Scholastically, I struggled with my grades, so I was about a “C” student. Out of embarrassment, I masked my inequity from my friends, so you would be hard pressed to find anyone in school that did not believe I was an “A” or “B” student.

As I sat in classrooms, I would try very hard to pay attention to what the teacher was saying because I knew we would be tested on it, but I struggled with retaining the information. I had the same challenges with reading text books in class or at home, because as I was reading, my brain kept drifting away, and I would have to re-read the same page two or three times in order to understand it. Read more

COMMENT (0) | ADD, empowerment, learning, self realization

St. Francis’ Feline: A Miraculous Healing For Felix The Cat – Part Two
By Melissa Roberts

My Felix the Cat wears a Virgin Mary blue collar with a St. Francis medal. She is a Franciscan kitty, though I am not a Franciscan myself. Felix and St. Francis of Assisi, patron saint of animals, have a special relationship.

In 2007, Felix lived in a small St. Louis apartment while I worked as a hospital chaplain. Used to being an indoor/outdoor kitty on the grounds of Mum and Dad’s small town Kansas Victorian house, Felix had trouble adjusting to her new home and lifestyle.

Felix wasn’t happy, and I wasn’t happy. Together, we journeyed through one of those chapters in life full of stormy uncertainty and misery, waiting for the sun. Read more

COMMENT (0) | animal companion, healing, spiritual

Standing In Line
By Liz Barney

Standing in line at the post office was not my plan for the afternoon, and so when I found myself still shifting from foot to foot after waiting 20 minutes, I grew restless. Looking around, it wasn’t difficult to see the same feelings mirrored on my line-companion’s faces; wrinkled brows, tapping feet, bulging eyes, and sweat-drenched brows all seemed to cry out together, “Can we just be done already?”

The line had been moving along at a slow, but steady pace that resembled the sludge of half-dried concrete crawling down the spout of the mixer, when suddenly it came to an abrupt halt. “Lo siento, no hablo Inglés,” the voice faltered, apologetically. I silently groaned inside, as I watched the short little man with weathered hands and thick black hair try to negotiate some form of meaning with the clerk.

“If you don’t speak English, move,” muttered an older man in front of me, and several people nodded or smiled with their eyes in agreement. Read more

COMMENT (0) | enlightenment, tolerance

My Unbelievable Six Rescue Dogs
By Andrea Carr

When I was around fourteen years old I lived in Sheffield, England. This is when I first started to rescue dogs. Along with my cousin, who was the same age, we would spot dogs that were being abused. I was given a little badge from the Royal Society of The Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

In Canada, I have still continued on with my animal rescuing.

Around the time my daughter moved out, my fifteen-year-old dog died. I called up a dog rescue group and told them I would be interested in adopting a small dog. I had a home visit done but didn’t hear from them.

Then one day, I received a phone call. They needed a foster home for a small dog. I agreed and they brought over a Yorkshire terrier. Read more

COMMENTS (3) | animal companion, animal wisdom, service

Expert Series: Living in Your Top 1%: Five Questions to Live Your Best Life
By Alissa Finerman

“It isn’t hard to be good from time to time. What’s tough is being good every day.”

– Willie Mays, baseball player

If a friend handed you a first class plane ticket to anywhere in the world, would you be clear on where you wanted to go? This is effectively what happens on a daily basis. Each day we are faced with a series of choices. Will we hit snooze, work out in the morning, meet a friend for lunch, or stay late and put in the extra effort on a project? We can choose a mediocre path and settle for the status quo, getting to work just in time for a meeting, or make small shifts in our mindset and take the time to prepare, think ahead, and be ready. Opportunity awaits those who are willing to take the next step forward. It’s a process, not magic. Read more

COMMENT (0) | enlightenment, self improvement


	Mike My wife is an alcoholic she drinks liquor from the time she gets up until the the liquor store closes.im at the crossroa... April I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 11 years but we have been together for the last 19 years. We met at a ve... Tina I have been married for 22 years. Both my husband and I were casual drinkers. As the years went by we began drinking m... Amy Weisenburger What a beautiful message!! My fur-babies, soulmates gave my life tremendous purpose and meaning. Their paw print... Frank Sterle Jr. Whenever I observe stress in the facial expression of my mother, a typical senior, I also observe how that stress drains... Kim This was an excellent blog. I have been with my alcoholic husband for 15 years. I felt like I was losing my mind with th... Alice Helping someone with this issue is hard. And even more if you love him. I know that very well. We struggled with it for ... Union Alarm The best way is to leave such a person as it is not worth making your life miserable with such a person. I know this as ... Nancy Flora I think what you mean is a non-drinking member of an alcoholic family. Alcoholism is a family disease. Just as your husb... Amanda The family is waking up Sunday AM and my alcoholic husband again makes another nasty comment to me. The things he has sa... Angel I learned how to detach from my drunk husband! Than my mother passed away. All gloves were off after that. My son gradua... Lorraine Married thirty seven and a half years to an alcoholic. But he is a good person. And he does good deeds for everyone neig... jw I have been with my husband twenty one years. We have three children together, ages 5,7, and 9. He is a functioning alco... Richard Berman A emotional story well written with bright eye ups and sad eye downs. A story I could relate to. My grandparents would... Gina Love this. Just what I needed to read. Thank you for your courage to share this.... Tired I am struggling with detaching, but still trying. I have been with my other half off and on for 5 years. The offs were... Debra Grossman Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It nourishes my soul to learn of such special friendships. We humans must ... Jack russell Really enjoyed reading the website. I have also have a website about this great dog.... Thank God for your blog. After 37 years of being married to an alcoholic,I've finally reached my breaking point. Emotion... Thanx 4 da truth... Sandra I am from USA, i am 36 years old, i want to gladly give My testimony of how a spell caster dr.mac@yahoo. com brought bac... g Thank you for your words. As I navigate through marriage with children (11, 5, 3) and I am a stay at home mom, the idea ... Catherine Ellen Pettway My husband and I married in 1988. He occasionally drank beer but not everyday. He came from a long history of alcoholics... Nic Thank you Mike for your honesty and vulnerability. It helps to feel a connection with someone who understands the enduri... Robert Goldsmith Thank you for sharing that very intimate experience and your story. I'm married to an alcoholic and am having severe pro... MANDI Is this group still going? I love my husband and I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I knew he like to dr... Kelly Dear Keith, I hope you are at peace now. You are missed by many.... Delilah Campos Dear LaVora, Thank you so much for sharing this intimate experience. I am deeply touched and encouraged by your experie... Mary Ellen Bennett Thank you so much. I am married to an alcoholic and I have watched him go through rehabilitation and relapse many times.... Tracy Thank you for sharing your story with me Ivor. I'm so glad you had a loving supportive Aunt to guide you out from beneat... Daniel Fontana I know those kids,especially Snezana.Please send me their contact information.... Neyhaaa I can't thank you enough for sharing this. Yet, thank you.... Amy My daughter is five and her dad is an alcoholic. I know we need to leave. We both own our house and I can't afford a law... CPC I think this is among the such a lot important info for me. And i'm happy studying your article. However want to statem... online festival Every year, people in India find different ways to celebrate the same festival, and perhaps this adds new dimension to... Karol Listening to all the mother's on here is overwhelming for me. I think about what all of you are going through and I can ... Vicki Osheka This is my second marriage and I came from a non drinking family. Didn't realize what I was getting into when I married... Elle Wel written article. My husband is walking around totally beligerant. Where he ends up making messes, he has snowballed ... Maren Thank you for this! 3rd day on Cipralex and a glimmer of hope.... I 'gave in' recently. I am more hopeful than ever that things will improve for me after reading this article. It is insp... LindaJane Riley I apologize to everyone who has commented. I didn't know this story was still active. I would like to invite all of ... Rahulbh28 Dear Members, Please help me. . . I'm sharing my painful moments which my brother and my family members are undergoing ... rene Yes i too lived the nightmare for 45 yrs..when in my marriage the last. 10 yrs my alcoholic lived in the same house and ... Grace I typed in Google search, overcoming childhood loneliness because I am paying attention to some habits that I have been ... Casadina I am so thankful that I found this website. I am like others on here and my alcoholic is passed out snoring again. This ... Grateful I cannot express how much I appreciate your story. I have been with my alcoholic for 11 years and I do not even know my... Vic I stumbled upon this beautifully written article because I just "gave in" today. I just picked up my perscription of cir... Carol I have recently begun to admit that my husband is an alcoholic. My heart is broken... I am pissed... I have so many emot... TJ Thank you for this article. You are the first person who seems to understand why I am still married to an alcoholic. I... sariah I wept as I read your story. I am currently learning to detach as well after 20 years of marriage to an alcoholic. Leavi... LaVora Good luck, N. My experience may not be yours. However, I deeply believe that happiness is our birthright. You deserve th... nk Lavora, I am exactly here in my marriage - trying to turn it around. Rgds, N... Suzanne Hi Martin and Cathy. Watched your documentary. You are a wonderful family. Everyone has their struggles, no one is exemp... admin Thank you for letting us know. The link is now set to the their new WEB page. We have our dog from them.... Linda Jane Riley About a year ago I was forced to take a step back from all things related to alcoholism. My husband, Riley, was not drin... SHerry Your link to the rescue adoption site is for sale with no other info on the dogs.... Karen Rago I think that Jesse is the most adorable jack Russell terrier dog I love watching his videos to... Marleen Thank you for sharing your story! That's real inspirating!... Julie Its 4:50am here. I can hear him snoring in the nursery. I brought the baby to bed with me.. He only snores when he drink... ld I thought I was suffering alone. The advice and comments make me feel better and gives me the strength to go on. Keep th... Sam Hi Mike, Very poignant, "There are no grown-ups. We are all children in adult garments" is right on the mark. Sufferi... TJ Thank You!!! Like "judy" commented above my mind was racing and I felt out of control... My life seemed to be falling a... Karunakaran It's very nice.... judy Thanks for ur writings... it really help my mind to calm down.... where can i go to talk with alot of nonalcoholics??? N... Tanya Sousa We certainly do have to change the way we respond, don't we Paul? I'm encouraged though. I do see it happening -- althou... Paul Trainer Thank you, Tanya, this is all so true. As someone who adores starlings too, I know that it is only when you take the tim... Cathy In reading I see how difficult it is to be married to an alcoholic husband for 30 years and have now discovered that if ... carrir You took the words right out of my mouth. Xoxo... ceri What an amazing story of love between step son and step father... Caney Texas Hello! I've been reading your site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out fr... julie what a wonderful article, she described me to a tee , it was nice to put words to the feelings , I am new to cipralex bu... michele I am hurting so badly right now, it is taking all the strength and coping ability I have just to get through the day! O... denise morini PLEASE understand that I do not feel redeemed......still...........getting Lexi DID NOT make up for what I did to Jack, ... Carleen Quesenberry Denise- It is perplexing that you would write a "feel good" story after you abandoned a dog due to your failure to trai... Jon While I love the article, I caution those reading the post by "finally AM, me." I was in a relationship for 12 years to... Wendy Noer I felt like I was there, good story Melodee, keep writing. Let me know when you finish another one.... thank you... Sandi This is great, Mel! Congratulations! I hope to see more of your writings - especially the novel you're working on...... Katie My name is Katie. I'm 40. I have only visited your website, haven't purchased your book yet. I've been diagnosed bi-... Kaylee Your story helped convince me to start retaking my cipralex! Thank you!... gautam khanal Love actually does not have any boundary of Cast,Religion,Profile,Species,Class etc........ Nayanna Chakrbarty Dear Kalpana, Thank you for your kind wishes. I do agree with you, when you think you are all alone that's when He ma... Kalpana Dear Nayanna, It' such a pleasure reading your experiences with Ganapthi (as I call him). He is so close to my heart ... Haley Made my day we have no reason to complain bout anything... Melissa Sorry typo , thank you again ...... Melissa Thank you , LindaJane; I will consider joining. Thank you against for your response .. Be well Melissa... Linda J Riley UPDATE -- Since I wrote this story, I have created several support groups: Two on Facebook and one on an independent sit... Melissa For 20 years that had been my life! This last time was so bad , he attacked me then choked his 19 year old twin daughter... Steve Sumii Joe, What a beautiful story. I visualized the whole story. The ending where you walk with your dad was especially moving... JW The story now the subject of a documentary aired on Knowledge Network. Video can be seen online at: http://knowled... http://tinyurl.com/kovalane39421 I really would like to book mark this blog, “Turning Trash Into Beauty – Kat Nicotera’s Unique Art Therapy \| Thri... joybells wow. i am going through the same journey! thanks for helping me & assisting me with that journey!... Noelle Sterne Fangfang-- You have been blessed with a husband and parents who understand that nothing is wasted. And you have learn... Fangfang Wow ... what a strong and passionate article!! Really?? Nothing is wasted?? I am feeling like I have wasted my life for... Pushpa Rawat sooo lovely and feel of very true friendship forever... Tanya Sousa Hi Diane! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I was so blessed to have her in my life AND to have the parents I had. Also, gr... Joyce Billie, I found your story very interesting and well-written. Some people would have been judgemental about the conditio... Diane Shiri, your article is very interesting and brought tears to my eyes. I have been a dog parent/companion to many wonder... Diane Schachter Tanya, I so enjoyed reading the story of your dog sister. I love how you describe your adventures and relationship with... Acamea Thank you James. :-)...