Kaloo, The Black One – Endless Loyalty And Love!
By Ernest Dempsey
I am running with all the excitement and energy of a child, and the playful dog is running after me. He is the child of my beloved pet dog Kaloo – the one who died years ago. I have the feeling that Kaloo’s son is a continuation of his loyalty and dedication to me. He is playing with me as Kaloo did years ago. I have only a very slight awareness of the large house I am in, and am indifferent to the setting sun and growing darkness of the evening. Running with Kaloo Jr. has left me breathless, and as I sit on the roof of the house, the dog snuggles at my side. I embrace him, and breathing heavily, I think what a bliss it is to have Kaloo with me in another body, just like his own. Suddenly, I feel how long it has been since Kaloo died. The thought brings an instant feeling of loss. I look at the dog snuggled beside me, and he is no more there.
My eyes opened and I woke up from the dream. I looked at my cell phone. It was past 6 pm. As I lay in bed, I suddenly smiled at the dream I had, with thoughts that my long-departed friend still visits me. He is more loyal than his kind is commonly remembered by humans. But I, despite being a writer for decades, never wrote a tribute to him. So it’s time to relive his memories, and share with the world the special relationship I had with my beloved dog for over 10 years.
When he was first brought to our house, in September 1988, he was hardly a week old, lacking shapely balance in his small physical being. He was entirely black, except for parts of his feet and a tiny white patch marking the tip of his tail – something we found amusing and even made fun of. He was from the litter born to a dog couple, consisting of an Alsatian father and a Bull Terrier mother, at the house of my mother’s friend who lived nearby. My family thought a dog would be good to watch the house. But for me, the arrival of a living, breathing toy-like puppy that entirely belonged to us, was a real gift. And I just took to him. It was only the next day, after his arrival, that we had a small family meeting at home to give the dog a name. Various suggestions came and were criticized until my brother said that as the puppy was all black, the best name for him would be “Kaloo” (a nickname literally meaning the black one). This was approved and thus we welcomed Kaloo into our family.
Kaloo soon became the centre of attention of the entire family. He was fed milk at first and as he grew up, he was given the food we ate. My mother, brothers, and I – all of us loved serving him food in his bowl. But only I. and my eldest brother, doted on playing with him. Kaloo sensed our special attention and would look for cues from us the moment we would step out of a room. In winter, he sat beside the mats we sat on, gathered around the fireplace. While Mother would rather have him out for the night, my eldest brother and I sometimes secretly allowed him in to sleep under the bed after our mother fell asleep. We were very sensitive to the thought that the dog would be staying outside on the verandah all night long in harsh winter. The following morning, we of course would bear Mother’s reprimands but never failed to allow Kaloo to stay in the room as many times as we could.
Gradually, Kaloo bonded more closely with me than the rest of the housemates. I was empathetically sensitive to his presence. Somehow I felt that I could sense his mood – sad, lonely, excited, happy, indifferent, or confused, etc. More wonderful was that he reciprocated my empathy as if he understood my feelings the way some very caring person might. In fact, he was much better at sensing my mood. Many a time when I felt sad, but wouldn’t express it, he would come and put his head in my lap in a manner that only I could understand; in his way, he would say “Don’t feel bad. I am with you.” And his company was a very reassuring consolation. I too wouldn’t miss doing my part – patting and hugging him whenever I read a sad, or lonely, or heavy mood in his look.
Summer was a special playing time as my brother would take us, (me, my younger brother, and Kaloo), out to a spring that flowed through the fields a little distance from our house. We would make Kaloo run with us to the spring, wash him there, and then let him run about in the fields. We laughed at his frisky, speedy run across the fields. There, we also played hide-and-seek with him, and he always sought us out in a matter of seconds. Back at the house, I never tired of playing with him by throwing a ball or other object at him, letting him pick it up, and then chasing him round and round in the house. As we slept outside in the yard in summer, Kaloo would wake me up each morning by poking his head inside the sheet I covered myself in, and licking my face. In his company, life had become a natural, innocent feeling of happiness and belonging.
One summer, (I don’t remember what year, but it was before 1991, I think), my family suddenly decided to give Kaloo to my grandfather’s family that had just lost a dog, and needed one to watch their large house. I felt like I was being robbed by this decision of the elders, who are considered the authority in my culture, even over grownup children living with them. Being kids, we were not supposed to intervene. In my silence, I burnt in fear, anger, and sorrow. And the fears became real when the next day, Kaloo was delivered to Grandpa’s house, a kilometer from ours. Though we visited Grandpa’s house daily, sometimes twice a day, the thought of not having Kaloo at my own house was so somber, that I couldn’t help crying to myself. There was no question of eating that night. This mourning of mine was noticed by the family and, after a little discussion, the elders in the house said they would bring Kaloo back in the morning. I counted each tick of the clock until I fell asleep.
The next day, my brother carried me on his bicycle to let us bring Kaloo back. We were half way from Grandpa’s house, talking about Kaloo, when my brother said, “Hey look at that dog! He looks like Kaloo!” We stopped, and I saw that it was Kaloo. He was running in our direction and looking back, as if worried about being followed.
“He has clearly escaped Grandpa’s house,” my brother said. Kaloo spotted us too and was overjoyed. I was almost crying in joy now. He had proved that he was part of our family and was inseparable from us. I took him back home. He was also very hungry and constantly sniffing here and there, looking for food. We fed him, wondering why he was so hungry. Soon we learnt that at Grandpa’s house, they tried to feed him meat and bones – a dog’s ideal food – but he never even looked at the food. He was mourning separation, just like I was that night. And the first thing he did in the morning was find a chance to escape, as soon as someone opened one of the gates to the house. What a wonderful escape to make our day!
In late 1996, I had to leave home and move to Peshawar city, 100 km from my hometown, for University. I missed home at first but, naturally, it was Kaloo and my younger brother that I missed in particular – both my childhood friends. On my biweekly to monthly visits home, Kaloo would greet me with a joy that no human has still ever shown me in my experience. Scampering all about me, he would sit right next to me, and follow me wherever I went in the house, even trying to go out with me whenever I went up to the gate to exit. He was like my shadow – staying where I was, and leaving when I left.
Then in 1998, I received the news from home that Kaloo had developed an infection in his foot. The wound had festered, and Kaloo wouldn’t let anyone inject medicine into his body via a syringe. I became very worried, and instantly got leave from classes to see Kaloo. He had grown weak, and his eyes had lost the energy and look of confidence that he usually carried. He couldn’t walk easily, and had to be carried from one place to another. For defecation, he just limped with effort toward the grassy part of the lawn.
“Everyone is afraid of him,” my family told me. “He bares his teeth at anyone whom he sees with a syringe. Even the vet can’t give him the injection that he needs so bad to fight the infection.” The problem was that he would also not let anyone tie his mouth, in order to inject the medicine into him, without risking a bite. Being a healthy, strong dog, people had reason to fear Kaloo when angry. But I knew I was not just any other person to him. And I knew that he knew that.
I said to them, “I will give him the injection. I will try. I think he may let me do it for him.” I sat at his side, patted and kissed him, and took the injection from my brother who then stepped back. Looking at the syringe in my hands, Kaloo uttered a faint, muffled snarl. But the look on his face was not of anger; it was not of rejection; it was one that said, “Okay, I trust you.” I gave him the injection without tying him, or his mouth, or anything. He allowed me, and even licked my hands after I was finished.
“This is what you call love,” remarked my father, witnessing it along with the rest of the family. I stayed home for a few more days, giving Kaloo more injections, and carrying him around. Then I went back to the city, returning shortly again to give him another dose of the medicine as prescribed. Kaloo recovered, and walked and ran again. I was truly happy to have him back to life.
On my next trip home, in June 1999, while we were allowed vacation to prepare for the annual exam, I arrived to find Kaloo ill again. And this time, it was much more serious. He had got bloody diarrhea. Medicine had been bought for him, and we also took a lackadaisical Kaloo to the vet for treatment. He told us to use some medicine over the night and if the dog survived by the morning, he would have hope to make it. I sat by Kaloo’s side as he licked the medicine mixed in water. After each episode of licking at the water, he would look at me with dying eyes, and I caressed him with affection, scared down to my core of what was coming. He read it in my eyes and answered with his own: It’s over my friend. I value your love.
Kaloo died that night, June 20, 1999, in my arms at around midnight. I was devastated, and I cried like I never had in my life before. Out of exhaustion, I finally fell asleep. And before I got up next morning, Kaloo’s body had been disposed. I missed him as anything – a friend, a family member, a kindred spirit. But soon, I would learn that he was not gone. He kept coming in my dreams, always as loving and playful and friendly as he had been to me, often running with me and filling me with fresh energy. In a non-physical way, he is still with me; always has been there.
This evening’s dream was another episode of Kaloo’s continued love, 11 years after his physical death. This one, however, seems to have brought another message from him. In his life, we never thought of letting Kaloo breed. If we had, today I would be friends with one or more of Kaloo’s children. Maybe, beyond our knowledge, Kaloo did get a chance to breed that we never knew of. In any case, his love for me and his understanding of my feelings, as well as responding to them as a kind friend, have impressed its unforgettable mark on my life. Writing these lines 11 years after his departure, I am glad to express what an honor it is for me to be enjoying my friend’s love and loyalty from the world beyond the physical.
Thank you Kaloo for being in my life!
Ernest Dempsey Bio:
Ernest Dempsey is an author, freelance writer, editor, and citizen journalist based in Pakistan. Dempsey edits the print quarterly Recovering the Self (http://www.recoveringself.com) a journal of hope and healing published from Michigan, USA. He is also a regular contributor to news sites like Instablogs, Digital Journal, and News Blaze. Learn more Dempsey at his website http://www.freewebs.com/ernestdempsey/.
His new blog Save Life is at http://catchingstraw.blogspot.com/.
Back to Stories
|
Mike
My wife is an alcoholic she drinks liquor from the time she gets up until the the liquor store closes.im at the crossroa...
April
I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 11 years but we have been together for the last 19 years. We met at a ve...
Tina
I have been married for 22 years. Both my husband and I were casual drinkers. As the years went by we began drinking m...
Amy Weisenburger
What a beautiful message!! My fur-babies, soulmates gave my life tremendous purpose and meaning. Their paw print...
Frank Sterle Jr.
Whenever I observe stress in the facial expression of my mother, a typical senior, I also observe how that stress drains...
Kim
This was an excellent blog. I have been with my alcoholic husband for 15 years. I felt like I was losing my mind with th...
Alice
Helping someone with this issue is hard. And even more if you love him. I know that very well. We struggled with it for ...
Union Alarm
The best way is to leave such a person as it is not worth making your life miserable with such a person. I know this as ...
Nancy Flora
I think what you mean is a non-drinking member of an alcoholic family. Alcoholism is a family disease. Just as your husb...
Amanda
The family is waking up Sunday AM and my alcoholic husband again makes another nasty comment to me. The things he has sa...
Angel
I learned how to detach from my drunk husband! Than my mother passed away. All gloves were off after that. My son gradua...
Lorraine
Married thirty seven and a half years to an alcoholic. But he is a good person. And he does good deeds for everyone neig...
jw
I have been with my husband twenty one years. We have three children together, ages 5,7, and 9. He is a functioning alco...
Richard Berman
A emotional story well written with bright eye ups and sad eye downs. A story I could relate to. My grandparents would...
Gina
Love this. Just what I needed to read. Thank you for your courage to share this....
Tired
I am struggling with detaching, but still trying. I have been with my other half off and on for 5 years. The offs were...
Debra Grossman
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It nourishes my soul to learn of such special friendships. We humans must ...
Jack russell
Really enjoyed reading the website. I have also have a website about this great dog....
Thank God for your blog. After 37 years of being married to an alcoholic,I've finally reached my breaking point. Emotion...
Thanx 4 da truth...
Sandra
I am from USA, i am 36 years old, i want to gladly give My testimony of how a spell caster dr.mac@yahoo. com brought bac...
g
Thank you for your words. As I navigate through marriage with children (11, 5, 3) and I am a stay at home mom, the idea ...
Catherine Ellen Pettway
My husband and I married in 1988. He occasionally drank beer but not everyday. He came from a long history of alcoholics...
Nic
Thank you Mike for your honesty and vulnerability. It helps to feel a connection with someone who understands the enduri...
Robert Goldsmith
Thank you for sharing that very intimate experience and your story. I'm married to an alcoholic and am having severe pro...
MANDI
Is this group still going? I love my husband and I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I knew he like to dr...
Kelly
Dear Keith, I hope you are at peace now. You are missed by many....
Delilah Campos
Dear LaVora, Thank you so much for sharing this intimate experience. I am deeply touched and encouraged by your experie...
Mary Ellen Bennett
Thank you so much. I am married to an alcoholic and I have watched him go through rehabilitation and relapse many times....
Tracy
Thank you for sharing your story with me Ivor. I'm so glad you had a loving supportive Aunt to guide you out from beneat...
Daniel Fontana
I know those kids,especially Snezana.Please send me their contact information....
Neyhaaa
I can't thank you enough for sharing this. Yet, thank you....
Amy
My daughter is five and her dad is an alcoholic. I know we need to leave. We both own our house and I can't afford a law...
CPC
I think this is among the such a lot important info for me. And i'm happy studying your article. However want to statem...
online festival
Every year, people in India find different ways to celebrate the same festival, and perhaps this adds new dimension to...
Karol
Listening to all the mother's on here is overwhelming for me. I think about what all of you are going through and I can ...
Vicki Osheka
This is my second marriage and I came from a non drinking family. Didn't realize what I was getting into when I married...
Elle
Wel written article. My husband is walking around totally beligerant. Where he ends up making messes, he has snowballed ...
Maren
Thank you for this! 3rd day on Cipralex and a glimmer of hope....
I 'gave in' recently. I am more hopeful than ever that things will improve for me after reading this article. It is insp...
LindaJane Riley
I apologize to everyone who has commented. I didn't know this story was still active. I would like to invite all of ...
Rahulbh28
Dear Members, Please help me. . . I'm sharing my painful moments which my brother and my family members are undergoing ...
rene
Yes i too lived the nightmare for 45 yrs..when in my marriage the last. 10 yrs my alcoholic lived in the same house and ...
Grace
I typed in Google search, overcoming childhood loneliness because I am paying attention to some habits that I have been ...
Casadina
I am so thankful that I found this website. I am like others on here and my alcoholic is passed out snoring again. This ...
Grateful
I cannot express how much I appreciate your story. I have been with my alcoholic for 11 years and I do not even know my...
Vic
I stumbled upon this beautifully written article because I just "gave in" today. I just picked up my perscription of cir...
Carol
I have recently begun to admit that my husband is an alcoholic. My heart is broken... I am pissed... I have so many emot...
TJ
Thank you for this article. You are the first person who seems to understand why I am still married to an alcoholic. I...
sariah
I wept as I read your story. I am currently learning to detach as well after 20 years of marriage to an alcoholic. Leavi...
LaVora
Good luck, N. My experience may not be yours. However, I deeply believe that happiness is our birthright. You deserve th...
nk
Lavora, I am exactly here in my marriage - trying to turn it around. Rgds, N...
Suzanne
Hi Martin and Cathy. Watched your documentary. You are a wonderful family. Everyone has their struggles, no one is exemp...
admin
Thank you for letting us know. The link is now set to the their new WEB page. We have our dog from them....
Linda Jane Riley
About a year ago I was forced to take a step back from all things related to alcoholism. My husband, Riley, was not drin...
SHerry
Your link to the rescue adoption site is for sale with no other info on the dogs....
Karen Rago
I think that Jesse is the most adorable jack Russell terrier dog I love watching his videos to...
Marleen
Thank you for sharing your story! That's real inspirating!...
Julie
Its 4:50am here. I can hear him snoring in the nursery. I brought the baby to bed with me.. He only snores when he drink...
ld
I thought I was suffering alone. The advice and comments make me feel better and gives me the strength to go on. Keep th...
Sam
Hi Mike, Very poignant, "There are no grown-ups. We are all children in adult garments" is right on the mark. Sufferi...
TJ
Thank You!!! Like "judy" commented above my mind was racing and I felt out of control... My life seemed to be falling a...
Karunakaran
It's very nice....
judy
Thanks for ur writings... it really help my mind to calm down.... where can i go to talk with alot of nonalcoholics??? N...
Tanya Sousa
We certainly do have to change the way we respond, don't we Paul? I'm encouraged though. I do see it happening -- althou...
Paul Trainer
Thank you, Tanya, this is all so true. As someone who adores starlings too, I know that it is only when you take the tim...
Cathy
In reading I see how difficult it is to be married to an alcoholic husband for 30 years and have now discovered that if ...
carrir
You took the words right out of my mouth. Xoxo...
ceri
What an amazing story of love between step son and step father...
Caney Texas
Hello! I've been reading your site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out fr...
julie
what a wonderful article, she described me to a tee , it was nice to put words to the feelings , I am new to cipralex bu...
michele
I am hurting so badly right now, it is taking all the strength and coping ability I have just to get through the day! O...
denise morini
PLEASE understand that I do not feel redeemed......still...........getting Lexi DID NOT make up for what I did to Jack, ...
Carleen Quesenberry
Denise- It is perplexing that you would write a "feel good" story after you abandoned a dog due to your failure to trai...
Jon
While I love the article, I caution those reading the post by "finally AM, me." I was in a relationship for 12 years to...
Wendy Noer
I felt like I was there, good story Melodee, keep writing. Let me know when you finish another one....
thank you...
Sandi
This is great, Mel! Congratulations! I hope to see more of your writings - especially the novel you're working on......
Katie
My name is Katie. I'm 40. I have only visited your website, haven't purchased your book yet. I've been diagnosed bi-...
Kaylee
Your story helped convince me to start retaking my cipralex! Thank you!...
gautam khanal
Love actually does not have any boundary of Cast,Religion,Profile,Species,Class etc........
Nayanna Chakrbarty
Dear Kalpana, Thank you for your kind wishes. I do agree with you, when you think you are all alone that's when He ma...
Kalpana
Dear Nayanna, It' such a pleasure reading your experiences with Ganapthi (as I call him). He is so close to my heart ...
Haley
Made my day we have no reason to complain bout anything...
Melissa
Sorry typo , thank you again ......
Melissa
Thank you , LindaJane; I will consider joining. Thank you against for your response .. Be well Melissa...
Linda J Riley
UPDATE -- Since I wrote this story, I have created several support groups: Two on Facebook and one on an independent sit...
Melissa
For 20 years that had been my life! This last time was so bad , he attacked me then choked his 19 year old twin daughter...
Steve Sumii
Joe, What a beautiful story. I visualized the whole story. The ending where you walk with your dad was especially moving...
JW
The story now the subject of a documentary aired on Knowledge Network. Video can be seen online at: http://knowled...
http://tinyurl.com/kovalane39421
I really would like to book mark this blog, “Turning Trash Into Beauty – Kat Nicotera’s Unique Art Therapy | Thri...
joybells
wow. i am going through the same journey! thanks for helping me & assisting me with that journey!...
Noelle Sterne
Fangfang-- You have been blessed with a husband and parents who understand that nothing is wasted. And you have learn...
Fangfang
Wow ... what a strong and passionate article!! Really?? Nothing is wasted?? I am feeling like I have wasted my life for...
Pushpa Rawat
sooo lovely and feel of very true friendship forever...
Tanya Sousa
Hi Diane! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I was so blessed to have her in my life AND to have the parents I had. Also, gr...
Joyce
Billie, I found your story very interesting and well-written. Some people would have been judgemental about the conditio...
Diane
Shiri, your article is very interesting and brought tears to my eyes. I have been a dog parent/companion to many wonder...
Diane Schachter
Tanya, I so enjoyed reading the story of your dog sister. I love how you describe your adventures and relationship with...
Acamea
Thank you James. :-)...