Expert Series: What Are You Willing To Do, That No One Else Is Willing To Do?


	Log in \|

Expert Series: What Are You Willing To Do, That No One Else Is Willing To Do?
By Brad Worthley

In mid-October of 2006, the love of my life, Melanie, got out of the bathtub and mentioned her skin itched badly and it would not stop. We assumed that it might have been the bath oil that she used, so we dismissed it as a topical issue (as something on top of the skin that created the itch, like the bath oil). The itching did not stop and it progressively got worse so we considered all the possibilities and changed laundry detergent, soap and anything else that we believed could be causing this unusual condition. We even re-washed all of her clothes in allergy free washing soap, which we believed would eliminate the itching, but it did not.

Each day it got worse. By the second week she was scratching herself so hard that she was bruising and damaging her skin. One day, her mother stopped by her office and chatted with her briefly and asked if she was feeling alright because she did not look normal. When her mom got home, she called back to Melanie and asked if her urine was dark yellow and Melanie confirmed it was. Her mother, who did medical transcription for many years, told Melanie that she believed she might have Hepatitis because of the color of her urine and the fact that Melanie’s eyes were also yellowed. She encouraged her to get to the doctor right away and get checked out, which we did.

We arrived at her primary care physician’s office and they took blood samples and sent them off to the lab. The next day we were sent to the emergency room where they performed an ultra sound on her around the mid section of her torso. They gave us a prescription for a drug to help reduce her itching then sent us home for the night. The next day, they called and requested us to come back to the hospital where they requested a CT scan to get a better look at her internal organs. We were waiting in the emergency room for some type of word on what her condition might be, fearing what we thought would be the worst case scenario, which would have been Hepatitis. A couple of hours later the emergency room doctor came into the room holding his cell phone and told Melanie that they had her primary doctor on the telephone, who wanted to talk to her. Melanie picked up the telephone, listened intently for a couple of minutes and then a look came to her face that I shall never forget, because her face went blank and almost numb from shock. Her doctor informed her that she had pancreatic cancer.

They requested that we go home, go on-line and read about pancreatic cancer while they put a plan in place to find solutions. We walked out of the hospital in complete disbelief and in utter shock. How could she have cancer? She has no cancer in her family and pancreatic cancer normally impacts people in their 70s, not someone who is a healthy 51 years young. Thank goodness, the drugs they gave her hit hard and when she got home she immediately fell asleep. The news of that day changed not only Melanie’s life, but the lives of everyone who knew her.

I began to read about pancreatic cancer on-line and there was absolutely no good news to be found. Most websites said the same thing: Approximately 4% of the people diagnosed with pancreatic cancer will survive five years but most will not make it even one year. My heart raced and my body heated up as a flash of my life without this incredible woman passed before me and I became terrified. At that moment, her survival became the “Most important” thing in my life.

From morning to night my days were filled with on-line research trying to find the experts in this field who could save her life. I called every hospital in the United States that had experts on this type of cancer and most of them referred me back to the Northwest where we had some local experts. The doctor that kept popping up as the person with the most experience in the type of surgery she needed, which was called a “Whipple Procedure,” was at the University Medical Center in Seattle, which was only a 15 minute drive. Being proactive, I also got the names of two other doctors in two other hospitals who were also very good, just as a backup.

The doctor at our local hospital, where our diagnoses was first given, told us that he would be able to get us an appointment with a surgeon in about four weeks to review our case and schedule surgery for a later date. I knew pancreatic cancer well enough by now to know that time is not on our side, so I began to call the three doctors that I had researched as our best options. Each of the doctor’s offices told me that they were very busy and it would be four weeks before we could even get a first introduction appointment. I begged for quicker action or other alternatives, but to no avail. Meanwhile, our local hospital checked Melanie back in for a surgery to implant a stint into a bile duct to open it up, which would help reduce the itching and buy us some time until she could have the Whipple procedure. The machine that they use to implant the stint broke down for some reason so they had to stop the procedure about half way through and send her back to her room. We were told that they would have the machine fixed and the stint operation was rescheduled for the next day.

I made the decision that day that I would not allow her to die and if 4% can survive this horrific cancer, she would be one of the 4% (Why not? Someone has to be it). Remembering that saving her life is the “Most important” thing to me, I decided I needed to be willing to take extraordinary measures if I wanted to continue to have my extraordinary life with this fabulous woman. The stint surgery that they were going to do on her tomorrow was not going to fix her; it was just going to buy us time. Furthermore, it still put her at risk because of the potential for complications and possible death (and there was a likelihood of that with this intricate operation).

I took the CD disc of the CT scans that the hospital gave us and burned three copies on my lap top computer. I made a collage of family photos on an 8” x 10” sheet of photo paper, which showed Melanie at play with her family. I know that doctors see CT scans every day but they do not always get to see the face of the people who they are making decisions about. I knew I had to pull out all the stops so tugging at a doctor’s heart strings was not beyond my abilities. I also grabbed three copies of my first book titled, “The Ultimate Guide to Exceeding Customer Expectations,” (Did you expect anything less from me at this point?). I put on my favorite (and lucky) purple shirt, suit and tie, packed the CT scan discs, photos of Melanie and my three autographed books and drove to each doctor’s office to drop them off.

My first stop was the University of Washington Medical Center because the doctor that had the most experience with this type of surgery was a gentleman named Dr. Mika Sinanan. His secretary met me and was very nice as she, once again, explained how busy he was, but she would be glad to take him the things I had delivered. After I left the U of W Medical Center I went to the other hospitals in Seattle and made my delivery to their offices as well, also being told that the chances were slim of an appointment within four weeks, let alone surgery. I was driving back to our local hospital, where Melanie was waiting for her stint surgery the next day, when my cell phone rang. I answered and it was Dr. Sinanan himself. He told me that he looked at her info and if I could bring her into the hospital this afternoon, he would perform the Whipple Procedure which she so desperately needed tomorrow morning. I drove back to the local hospital, checked her out and drove her immediately to the U of W hospital where we checked her in. The seven hour surgery was performed successfully on November 4, 2006, and Dr. Sinanan told us that her cancer tumor was pressing against an artery and it almost wrapped it. If that would have happened, he would not have been able to do the surgery and the outcome could have been much different.

Melanie is indeed on her way to becoming one of the lucky 4% that survive more than five years, because as of this writing, she is four years along, healthy and cancer free. My question to you is: what are you willing to do, that no one else is willing to do, in order to have the things that no one else has? I did something that most people might not have done in order to save Melanie’s life because it was the “Most important” thing to me. It was the “Most important” thing to me because the perceived level of pain was so high. What is the “Most important” thing to you and what are you willing to do in order to achieve it? Which motivator is the driving force behind your desire: pain or pleasure? An extraordinary life requires extraordinary actions, so give serious consideration to your desires and what motivates you.

Brad Worthley Bio:

Brad Worthley is an accomplished business consultant with over 35 years of management experience. He is also an internationally acclaimed leadership, customer service and motivational expert who has trained hundreds of thousands of people in a wide range of industries throughout the world in the last 20 years. He has authored three books and produced numerous training videos and audio programs. His new book titled “Simple Steps to an Extraordinary Career & Life” will be out in about 60 days. You can sign up for his monthly newsletter at www.BradWorthley.com.

Back to Stories

COMMENT (0) | empowerment, health, relationships

Comments

Leave a Reply


	Mike My wife is an alcoholic she drinks liquor from the time she gets up until the the liquor store closes.im at the crossroa... April I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 11 years but we have been together for the last 19 years. We met at a ve... Tina I have been married for 22 years. Both my husband and I were casual drinkers. As the years went by we began drinking m... Amy Weisenburger What a beautiful message!! My fur-babies, soulmates gave my life tremendous purpose and meaning. Their paw print... Frank Sterle Jr. Whenever I observe stress in the facial expression of my mother, a typical senior, I also observe how that stress drains... Kim This was an excellent blog. I have been with my alcoholic husband for 15 years. I felt like I was losing my mind with th... Alice Helping someone with this issue is hard. And even more if you love him. I know that very well. We struggled with it for ... Union Alarm The best way is to leave such a person as it is not worth making your life miserable with such a person. I know this as ... Nancy Flora I think what you mean is a non-drinking member of an alcoholic family. Alcoholism is a family disease. Just as your husb... Amanda The family is waking up Sunday AM and my alcoholic husband again makes another nasty comment to me. The things he has sa... Angel I learned how to detach from my drunk husband! Than my mother passed away. All gloves were off after that. My son gradua... Lorraine Married thirty seven and a half years to an alcoholic. But he is a good person. And he does good deeds for everyone neig... jw I have been with my husband twenty one years. We have three children together, ages 5,7, and 9. He is a functioning alco... Richard Berman A emotional story well written with bright eye ups and sad eye downs. A story I could relate to. My grandparents would... Gina Love this. Just what I needed to read. Thank you for your courage to share this.... Tired I am struggling with detaching, but still trying. I have been with my other half off and on for 5 years. The offs were... Debra Grossman Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It nourishes my soul to learn of such special friendships. We humans must ... Jack russell Really enjoyed reading the website. I have also have a website about this great dog.... Thank God for your blog. After 37 years of being married to an alcoholic,I've finally reached my breaking point. Emotion... Thanx 4 da truth... Sandra I am from USA, i am 36 years old, i want to gladly give My testimony of how a spell caster dr.mac@yahoo. com brought bac... g Thank you for your words. As I navigate through marriage with children (11, 5, 3) and I am a stay at home mom, the idea ... Catherine Ellen Pettway My husband and I married in 1988. He occasionally drank beer but not everyday. He came from a long history of alcoholics... Nic Thank you Mike for your honesty and vulnerability. It helps to feel a connection with someone who understands the enduri... Robert Goldsmith Thank you for sharing that very intimate experience and your story. I'm married to an alcoholic and am having severe pro... MANDI Is this group still going? I love my husband and I knew what I was getting into when I married him. I knew he like to dr... Kelly Dear Keith, I hope you are at peace now. You are missed by many.... Delilah Campos Dear LaVora, Thank you so much for sharing this intimate experience. I am deeply touched and encouraged by your experie... Mary Ellen Bennett Thank you so much. I am married to an alcoholic and I have watched him go through rehabilitation and relapse many times.... Tracy Thank you for sharing your story with me Ivor. I'm so glad you had a loving supportive Aunt to guide you out from beneat... Daniel Fontana I know those kids,especially Snezana.Please send me their contact information.... Neyhaaa I can't thank you enough for sharing this. Yet, thank you.... Amy My daughter is five and her dad is an alcoholic. I know we need to leave. We both own our house and I can't afford a law... CPC I think this is among the such a lot important info for me. And i'm happy studying your article. However want to statem... online festival Every year, people in India find different ways to celebrate the same festival, and perhaps this adds new dimension to... Karol Listening to all the mother's on here is overwhelming for me. I think about what all of you are going through and I can ... Vicki Osheka This is my second marriage and I came from a non drinking family. Didn't realize what I was getting into when I married... Elle Wel written article. My husband is walking around totally beligerant. Where he ends up making messes, he has snowballed ... Maren Thank you for this! 3rd day on Cipralex and a glimmer of hope.... I 'gave in' recently. I am more hopeful than ever that things will improve for me after reading this article. It is insp... LindaJane Riley I apologize to everyone who has commented. I didn't know this story was still active. I would like to invite all of ... Rahulbh28 Dear Members, Please help me. . . I'm sharing my painful moments which my brother and my family members are undergoing ... rene Yes i too lived the nightmare for 45 yrs..when in my marriage the last. 10 yrs my alcoholic lived in the same house and ... Grace I typed in Google search, overcoming childhood loneliness because I am paying attention to some habits that I have been ... Casadina I am so thankful that I found this website. I am like others on here and my alcoholic is passed out snoring again. This ... Grateful I cannot express how much I appreciate your story. I have been with my alcoholic for 11 years and I do not even know my... Vic I stumbled upon this beautifully written article because I just "gave in" today. I just picked up my perscription of cir... Carol I have recently begun to admit that my husband is an alcoholic. My heart is broken... I am pissed... I have so many emot... TJ Thank you for this article. You are the first person who seems to understand why I am still married to an alcoholic. I... sariah I wept as I read your story. I am currently learning to detach as well after 20 years of marriage to an alcoholic. Leavi... LaVora Good luck, N. My experience may not be yours. However, I deeply believe that happiness is our birthright. You deserve th... nk Lavora, I am exactly here in my marriage - trying to turn it around. Rgds, N... Suzanne Hi Martin and Cathy. Watched your documentary. You are a wonderful family. Everyone has their struggles, no one is exemp... admin Thank you for letting us know. The link is now set to the their new WEB page. We have our dog from them.... Linda Jane Riley About a year ago I was forced to take a step back from all things related to alcoholism. My husband, Riley, was not drin... SHerry Your link to the rescue adoption site is for sale with no other info on the dogs.... Karen Rago I think that Jesse is the most adorable jack Russell terrier dog I love watching his videos to... Marleen Thank you for sharing your story! That's real inspirating!... Julie Its 4:50am here. I can hear him snoring in the nursery. I brought the baby to bed with me.. He only snores when he drink... ld I thought I was suffering alone. The advice and comments make me feel better and gives me the strength to go on. Keep th... Sam Hi Mike, Very poignant, "There are no grown-ups. We are all children in adult garments" is right on the mark. Sufferi... TJ Thank You!!! Like "judy" commented above my mind was racing and I felt out of control... My life seemed to be falling a... Karunakaran It's very nice.... judy Thanks for ur writings... it really help my mind to calm down.... where can i go to talk with alot of nonalcoholics??? N... Tanya Sousa We certainly do have to change the way we respond, don't we Paul? I'm encouraged though. I do see it happening -- althou... Paul Trainer Thank you, Tanya, this is all so true. As someone who adores starlings too, I know that it is only when you take the tim... Cathy In reading I see how difficult it is to be married to an alcoholic husband for 30 years and have now discovered that if ... carrir You took the words right out of my mouth. Xoxo... ceri What an amazing story of love between step son and step father... Caney Texas Hello! I've been reading your site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out fr... julie what a wonderful article, she described me to a tee , it was nice to put words to the feelings , I am new to cipralex bu... michele I am hurting so badly right now, it is taking all the strength and coping ability I have just to get through the day! O... denise morini PLEASE understand that I do not feel redeemed......still...........getting Lexi DID NOT make up for what I did to Jack, ... Carleen Quesenberry Denise- It is perplexing that you would write a "feel good" story after you abandoned a dog due to your failure to trai... Jon While I love the article, I caution those reading the post by "finally AM, me." I was in a relationship for 12 years to... Wendy Noer I felt like I was there, good story Melodee, keep writing. Let me know when you finish another one.... thank you... Sandi This is great, Mel! Congratulations! I hope to see more of your writings - especially the novel you're working on...... Katie My name is Katie. I'm 40. I have only visited your website, haven't purchased your book yet. I've been diagnosed bi-... Kaylee Your story helped convince me to start retaking my cipralex! Thank you!... gautam khanal Love actually does not have any boundary of Cast,Religion,Profile,Species,Class etc........ Nayanna Chakrbarty Dear Kalpana, Thank you for your kind wishes. I do agree with you, when you think you are all alone that's when He ma... Kalpana Dear Nayanna, It' such a pleasure reading your experiences with Ganapthi (as I call him). He is so close to my heart ... Haley Made my day we have no reason to complain bout anything... Melissa Sorry typo , thank you again ...... Melissa Thank you , LindaJane; I will consider joining. Thank you against for your response .. Be well Melissa... Linda J Riley UPDATE -- Since I wrote this story, I have created several support groups: Two on Facebook and one on an independent sit... Melissa For 20 years that had been my life! This last time was so bad , he attacked me then choked his 19 year old twin daughter... Steve Sumii Joe, What a beautiful story. I visualized the whole story. The ending where you walk with your dad was especially moving... JW The story now the subject of a documentary aired on Knowledge Network. Video can be seen online at: http://knowled... http://tinyurl.com/kovalane39421 I really would like to book mark this blog, “Turning Trash Into Beauty – Kat Nicotera’s Unique Art Therapy \| Thri... joybells wow. i am going through the same journey! thanks for helping me & assisting me with that journey!... Noelle Sterne Fangfang-- You have been blessed with a husband and parents who understand that nothing is wasted. And you have learn... Fangfang Wow ... what a strong and passionate article!! Really?? Nothing is wasted?? I am feeling like I have wasted my life for... Pushpa Rawat sooo lovely and feel of very true friendship forever... Tanya Sousa Hi Diane! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I was so blessed to have her in my life AND to have the parents I had. Also, gr... Joyce Billie, I found your story very interesting and well-written. Some people would have been judgemental about the conditio... Diane Shiri, your article is very interesting and brought tears to my eyes. I have been a dog parent/companion to many wonder... Diane Schachter Tanya, I so enjoyed reading the story of your dog sister. I love how you describe your adventures and relationship with... Acamea Thank you James. :-)...