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Life Goes On
By Sean Cameron - 18 Years Old

Everyone says divorce is hard. They have no idea. I remember as a kid hearing about parents getting divorces and getting scared that the same thing would happen to mine. I would see it on the television, or see my friends heading to their father’s house for the weekend. So I made sure I kept a close eye on my mom and dad. I was always on the look-out for any signs of arguments. I would make them promise me over and over that they would never get a divorce. I knew it was immature and silly, yet I couldn’t help but worry. However, my parents always seemed so happy together. And of course, my mom and dad promised me they would never be apart. So what did I have to worry about? I guess even parents can be wrong sometimes…

It all started on that fateful summer day in grade five. Walking home from school was a delight. The sun was shining down on me and the wind was creating a gentle breeze that formed the perfect combination for my afternoon stroll home. It really seemed like another typical, beautiful day in the summer. Then I got home. There was an eerie awkwardness in the air. My mother already had dinner ready on the table. I could see the steam rising off my scrambled eggs as I stared down at my dinner, wondering why my mom seemed so distracted. When my dad came through the front door, my mom seemed on high alert. I had never seen her like this and it made my sister and I slightly nervous. She brought milk to the table and filled our glasses with her trembling hands.

What happened next I will never forget. My dad appeared in the hallway and called for my mom who went without hesitation. After a few minutes, Rachel and I followed them into their room. Seeing both parents in tears is an image that will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life. My dad took my hands and my mom held my sister and for a few seconds we were just there. No words, just the four of us together. Then my dad sank to his knees and said, “Your mother and I just don’t love each other like a husband and wife should.” Whatever was said after this was a blur. My mind seemed to be racing at a hundred miles per hour, yet everything in my life seemed like it was falling apart, all in one moment. How could this be happening? It wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be.

Yet I knew it was. Then I found myself racing for the door. Shouting whatever I could at them, not caring what it was. Tears were flowing down my cheeks as I screamed. My mom stopped me and I sank to the ground just wanting to forget everything.

Soon after, my dad left for work, leaving my sister, mom and me. I felt like I was in a daze and for some reason what had happened earlier that day seemed like a long time ago. I didn’t mind. Of course my mom was a mess and as any mother would, wanted to comfort us in any way possible. So we found ourselves driving to rent a movie. What better way to cheer a family up then a little Ned Schneebly in ‘School of Rock’? Man, do I ever love Jack Black. So we watched and stuffed our faces with Swedish Berries, popcorn and chips and just got lost in the comedy. It was at that moment that I knew whatever happened, we would always be a family. We would always be all right.

Now approaching seven years after my parents’ divorce, I have gotten pretty used to the situation. I used to see my dad every week at the beginning. Over time, the time between visits got longer and I would miss him more than ever. But I learned to get used to it. At some point, accepting what’s happened and moving on is the only way to stay sane. There are still times when I catch myself thinking about it and get upset. Except I have learned to see the positives instead of the negatives. Seeing that it benefited my parents made the whole thing a little easier to digest.

So the days went on, summer turned to fall and fall to winter. At first what was nearly impossible became easier and easier. I now see my father every once in a while and when I do, I treasure those moments. Then there is my mom, who I can talk to about anything. Who would I be if I wasn’t a momma’s boy? Yes, divorce is hard. I’ve never experienced anything like it. But life goes on.

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COMMENT (1) | divorce, family, healing, relationships, self growth
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One Response to “Life Goes On”

  1. Yale Schachter
    October 25th, 2011 @ 11:44 pm

    Sean,

    Your story brought back many good and bad memories of my childhood. I went through exactly the same situation when I was in my mid-teens. I remember praying that my parents would not get divorced.

    However when it happened it released a lot of built up stress in all 7 family members. And you are right – the people left behind do become a family. In some ways more loving and better friends to each other than before.

    Your article shows a lot of maturity and you were able to put into words what many people feel but don’t know how to express.

    I hope to see other articles about how your “life goes on”.

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