Transformed By The Re-Newing Of The Mind
By Marilyn Hurst
It was a quiet spring day in March 1990, the day my father died. I had visited him at home just the day before and though it was apparent he was in the last stages of the “disease”, I was still expecting that any time he’d reverse the diagnosis and pull out of this horrible thing that was consuming his life. His passing hit me so hard I could barely remember to keep breathing myself.
Over the following months, slowly at first then like a speeding train coming at me, the past, present and future closed in and I felt I was staring into a black hole. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. Although it appeared to everyone around me I had lapsed into depression, I knew that a major life-altering event had occurred and the pain was so intense, I wanted to die myself.
I looked at the shambles of my life and realized I’d been sleep-walking through it for the better part of 40 years. My marriage was only held together because of our 9 year old son and were it not for my job as a flight attendant, which took me away for long periods every month, I probably would have ended it years before. This empty void wasn’t just the passing of my father; something within me was desperate to “get out”. At the time I didn’t recognize this as a symptom of a transformational process that was in the beginning stages. Read more